PREVENTING CHILD ASSAULT
National Network for Child Care's Child Care Center Connections Newsletter
Belinda Meyn
Project Coordinator
Child Assault Prevention
A Woman's Fund
Copyright/Access Information
The subject of child abuse prevention can be very confusing. Many parents would like to talk to their children about preventing abuse, but they worry about saying the "wrong thing." They also fear that talking about child abuse could stir up a lot of anxiety in their children. Unfortunately, when adults don't know how to teach prevention information and skills, they leave children vulnerable to abuse.
Child abuse is a very serious problem in every community in our nation. An estimated 100,000 to 500,000 children are sexually abused each year. A 1988 study by D.E.H. Russell shows that one out of three girls and one out of six boys are sexually abused by the time they are 18. And Daro and McCurdy report that 838 children died in 1991 as a result of physical abuse by a parent.
Child abuse happens in every class, race, and ethnic group, and it crosses all educational and economic boundaries. No family is immune. The good news is that parents and other caring adults can do a lot to channel fear and anger into action. Parents are very important in preventing child abuse, in keeping children safe, and in supporting and advocating for children who have become victims.
Preventing child abuse is an important safety issue. We teach our children safety skills for fire and road safety, and we can teach abuse prevention in much the same way.
FOCUS ON WHAT THE CHILD CAN DO. In the past, teaching on how to prevent sexual assault has focused on what not to do. This approach means that children often feel helpless in a dangerous situation. They can follow all the "don't" messages and still find themselves threatened. When children don't know what to do, they may become even more frightened. They may also feel guilty after an assault occurs.
Focusing on what a child can do makes the whole topic less scary. You don't need to include horrible descriptions of what "some people" try to do to children. Instead, teach real strategies for preventing abuse and assault. That way, children begin to feel capable and independent instead of helpless.
BELIEVE IN YOUR CHILD'S ABILITIES. Self-confidence is 90 percent of prevention. If children believe they can't prevent an assault, they probably won't even try. Parents and other caring adults should review prevention skills with their children often. These reviews boost self-confidence and give them a "you-can-do-it" message.
The warnings we were given as children are not enough to protect our kids. Of course, children should be told not to take candy from strangers and not to get into a car with someone they don't know. But 80 percent of child victims are abused by someone they do know. Abusers are most often family members, neighbors, teachers, coaches, babysitters, or youth group leaders. Children need to be prepared. Adults have to get past their shyness and speak directly to their children about ways they can protect themselves.
FIND THE RIGHT TIME. Parents and child care providers don't have to call a big family or group meeting to talk about preventing abuse. When children are as young as two years old, they can be told that they shouldn't keep secrets from their parents. Television shows, a family trip, or a group program on child abuse can give you the chance to discuss prevention. Explain to your child that sometimes children are hurt, even by people they know. Tell them that keeping secrets to protect friends may prevent their friends from getting the help they need and have the right to expect from adults.
TEACH YOUR CHILD TO SAY NO. Teach children that no one has the right to touch their bodies in ways that hurt, frighten, or confuse them. This is especially true if the child is threatened "not to tell." Parents must get specific and teach about the parts of a child's body that are off-limits. This information helps children tell the difference between safe and unsafe touching. Children should be taught that they have the right to refuse any kind of touching, sexual or not.
Talk with your kids about appropriate rules and expectations in the family and at school. Then compare them with the unreasonable demands that may be made by an adult or another child who is trying to exploit them. Some parents fear that teaching children to say "no" to threatening adults may encourage them to defy any adult authority, especially their parents. This is hardly ever true. Tell your children clearly and positively that when they feel threatened, they have your permission and encouragement to stand up for themselves.
KEEP LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN. This rule is very important. Tell the child that you are willing and able to hear anything they might want to talk about, no matter how embarrassing or scary the subject might be.
FOR MORE HELP IN DEALING WITH THIS SUBJECT, contact the National Center for Assault Prevention (NCAP). NCAP is an international program that began in 1978 in Columbus, Ohio. Its goal is to teach children from kindergarten through fifth grade the skills and strategies that will help them recognize and deal with potentially dangerous situations. The program can also be adapted for preschoolers, teenagers, and people with disabilities. NCAP comes into the classroom and teaches children how to be safe, strong, and free. The program encourages self-assertiveness and peer support. And it teaches kids how to find adult support and in-school resources.
NCAP also offers teachers, child care providers, parents, and community members information about abuse. The program teaches adults how to reinforce the prevention skills that NCAP teaches the children in the program. It also prepares adults to respond better to children who have been abused. NCAP's goal is to provide a community response to abuse.
There are over 200 NCAP projects active in 32 states. Call (609) 582-7000 to find the project nearest you. You can also write to NCAP, 606 Delsea Drive, Sewell, NJ 08080 to receive materials on community-based prevention, parenting to prevent abuse, myths about abuse, local statistics on abuse, and other topics.
Daro, D., and K. McCurdy. 1992. *Current Trends in Child Abuse Reporting and Fatalities: The Results of the 1991 Annual Fifty-State Survey.* The National Center on Child Abuse Prevention Research.
Russell, D.E.H. 1988. The incidence and prevalence of intrafamilial and extrafamilial sexual abuse of female children. In L.E.A. Walker (Ed.), *Handbook on Sexual Abuse of Children.* Springer Publishing Company.
Finklehor, D. 1986. *Sourcebook on Child Abuse.* Beverly Hills: Sage Publications.
Miller, A. 1983. *For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence.* New York: Farrar, Straus.
Sanford, L. 1980. *The Silent Children: A Parent's Guide to the Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse.* New York: McGraw Hill.
Sanford, L. 1990. *Strong at the Broken Places.* New York: Random House.
Rush, F. 1980. *The Best-Kept Secret: Sexual Abuse of Children.* Englewood Cliffs: Prentice Hall.
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