National Network for Child Care's Connections Newsletter`
Patricia L. Chronis, M.S.W., M.Ed.
UIC Children's Center
University of Illinois at Chicago
As the director of a campus child care center serving almost 100 children, I hear compliments - and complaints - from parents about how we as a staff communicate information. I have identified three primary sources for effective staff-parent communication:
1. The relationship between parents and staff members;
2. The self-confidence of the parent and staff member in their roles as parent and child care provider;
3. The staff member's level of confidence in giving or asking for information.
The relationship between parents and child care providers, like every other relationship, depends on people getting to know and trust each other. Initially, people get to know each other by being friendly and showing interest. Often a simple and sincere, "How are you?" is enough to get a conversation started. Subsequently, asking about a job interview, midterm exam or other life event lets parents know we see them as individuals. Like each of us, parents want to be viewed as persons, not as roles.
Most early childhood educators understand the unique relationship between parents and their young children. However, despite this intellectual understanding, staff members' day-to-day experiences can often lead to frustrations and disappointments. At times we may worry that parents are unhappy with messy art projects or muddy playgrounds. We need to recognize that, while some parents expect to see their child with paint in their hair or stains on their clothing, other parents may be upset. Sometimes, it is the surprise of the mess that parents react to. Informing and reminding parents that a messy day is coming up will help them prepare. For example, they may bring a towel to put in the car, or they may make sure not to schedule anything after picking their child up from the program.
We need to make classrooms welcoming places for parents. We can do this by the greetings we offer and our willingness to reach out and include parents in classroom and other activities. Above all, we must not compete with parents. What we know about children is different from what parents know, primarily because we observe, interact with, and experience children in group settings. While our observations and experiences are different, they are not necessarily more valid than those of parents. Offer a compliment about the child to the parents often. This will help later when you need to address a concern or problem.
In talking with parents, staff members need to feel self-confident in their role as educators. Self-confidence does not mean having all the answers. Rather, it is the knowledge that we can help young children grow, develop, and learn because of our special training and skills. It is the value we place on ourselves as early childhood educators. We display our self-confidence when we listen to parents' concerns and when parents ask for our advice.
It is important to ask parents what information they want about their children's participation in the child care program. We also need to let parents know what we will tell them. Talking to parents about what goes on in the program reassures them that they will know what is planned and what has happened. It also helps to avoid disappointment. For instance, parents may expect elaborate birthday parties while staff may think a simpler observance is more appropriate for young children in group care.
When staff members need to ask for personal information, they should begin by explaining to the parent why they need the information and how they are going to use it. For example, providers may need information so that they can respond to a child's comments in the program. Or, providers may need information so that they can ease a child's worry about something that has happened in the program or at home. Staff can respond in a more meaningful way when they can say, "Your mom (or dad) told me ..." Many parents will appreciate staff wanting to be responsive to their children. Others may not, especially if it involves family, home, or other personal matters.
How people hear information affects how they respond. When talking with parents about emotionally-charged information, providers need to think about what they are likely to say before they say it. What words will be used and how might the parent perceive what is said? Providers can ask a trusted colleague (a supervisor or co-teacher) to listen to what they plan to say. They must not only listen to the words, but also hear the message the words convey. Does the statement of concern sound like a complaint? Will parents perceive comments as criticism of them or their child? Does it seem like we are blaming the parents?
In my work with teachers, parents, and children, I have found that ambivalence about what staff members need to say causes more problems than any other single factor. The parent is more likely to hear what we say when we are clear about what we need to say and how we want to say it. Otherwise, we give conflicting messages and only make matters more confusing. When there is clear, open, empathic communication, everyone benefits.
Reprinted with permission from the National Network for Child
Care - NNCC. Chronis, P. L. (1994). Communicating with parents.
In Todd, C.M. (Ed.), *Child care center connections*, 4(1), pp. 4-5. Urbana-Champaign, IL: University of Illinois Cooperative Extension Service.
Contact Us | Non-discrimination Statement and Information Disclosures | © Iowa State University, 2002