COMMUNICATING WITH PARENTS

Ronald L. Pitzer
Sociologist
Rural Sociology
University of Minnesota

Copyright/Access Information


How would you feel leaving your child with someone else for a whole day, before you go to work each day? How would you feel if your child cried when you came at 5 p.m. and didn't want to go home? For a parent already feeling some guilt and resentment, this could kindle real frictions. Clearly this could be a troubling situation.

Your relationship with parents influences the way they view themselves and, more importantly, how children see themselves. If the important people in a child's life are always squabbling, the child may feel insecure and unloved. It means a lot to children to see adults that are important to
them working together with courtesy and respect.

Professional providers with good self-esteem "speak no evil." Gossiping or even spending time listening to previous providers' failings is not only detrimental but disastrous. If parents "carry tales," you may be next in the receiving line.

All too often providers' daily relationships with parents hit snags because of differing experiences and beliefs. Pre-enrollment discussions with parents help tremendously in understanding each other, but like all good relationships, they need continuing attention. Here are some behaviors that providers have found helpful in communicating with parents:

• Listen carefully to what parents say about their children.
• Figure out what they are asking for and why.
• Explain your position.
• Don't be defensive.
• Look for a common ground.
• Learn from each other.
• Be open to trying out parents' suggestions.
• Put yourself in the parents' shoes.
• Smile.
• Share good events of the day.
• Report any accidents and how they happened. Parents are understanding and realize scrapes and bumps occur.
• Be available and understanding.
• Keep personal information shared by parents confidential.
• Don't talk about a child's problem in front of the child. Set up a time to call and discuss the issue.
• Continue to talk.

All this may seem one-sided, with you providing a great deal of awareness of the parents' needs. Remember, of all the people these parents see, you may be the one best able to understand how they feel. There is a specialness that you share. You help them work and pursue a career. In turn, your day care business is possible because their children need your care.