Charles A. Smith, Ph.D.
Human Development Specialist
Human Development and Family Studies
Kansas State University Cooperative Extension
Copyright/Access Information
Healthy fears are a part of everyday life. They help adults and
children recognize and respond quickly to danger. Sometimes, however,
fears keep people from things they want to do. Caregivers can
help children deal with their fears in many ways. Here are some
suggestions to consider.
ESTABLISH AN ATMOSPHERE OF ACCEPTANCE AND RESPECT. Children
need a safe place to express their fears openly. Any fear is very
real to children, no matter how unreasonable it appears to us.
Avoid responding to children's fears by ridiculing, shaming, punishing,
overprotecting, or ignoring.
UNDERSTAND HOW CHILDREN'S FEARS DEVELOP. Some fears are
very normal at certain ages. With time, children usually outgrow
these fears. Infants fear loud noises, strangers, and separation
from parents. Toddlers fear strangers, separation from parents,
and the unknown. As their imaginations grow, preschoolers and
school-age children fear the dark, being injured, animals, being
left alone, and death. In addition to these fears, older school-age
children worry about not living up to the expectations of parents
and teachers. During adolescence, teenagers often worry about
the possibility of things such as nuclear war and natural disasters.
ESTABLISH A PREDICTABLE ROUTINE. A consistent daily routine
provides children with a sense of power and control. It lets them
know what to expect. Children's fears often stem from a lack of
information about what is happening in their lives. When special
activities occur or changes in the routine are necessary, talk
with the children about what will happen.
PREPARE CHILDREN FOR STRESSFUL SITUATIONS. Activities such
as field trips, visitors, or fire drills can be frightening. Often,
children are afraid because they do not know what to expect. Before
the event happens, talk with the children. Ask them what they
think will happen. Help them understand what is likely to happen.
Involve children in a group discussion following the experience
to discuss what really happened.
TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO COPE WITH FEAR. Use words like "afraid,"
"fear," and "scared" to talk about how children
feel. Talk about some of the fears you experienced when you were
young. Talk with children about things you did when you were afraid.
Explain how and why you did those things.
RECOGNIZE CHILDREN'S MOMENTS OF PERSONAL COURAGE. Take
the time to notice when children courageously face personal fears.
Express pride when you see them conquer a fear, such as climbing
the jungle gym or joining a group of new friends.
Recognize when children's fears are excessive. Recommend that
the parents seek professional help if the child's fear becomes
disruptive to his life. Consider the following questions when
reaching this decision. How long has the fear persisted? Is the
fear harmful to the child? Is the fear interfering with normal
behavior or relationships? Is the fear preventing the child from
actively participating in life?
Plan activities that allow children to express their feelings.
Children can express their feelings of fear and courage through
singing songs, dictating and writing stories, reading stories,
drawing pictures, or role playing. Here are several activities
to try.
PURPOSE: to help children learn the difference between reasonable
and unreasonable danger.
AGE: 2-1/2+
SETTING: large open area.
MATERIALS: balance beams (you can use long, wide pieces of wood
on the ground.)
ACTIVITY:
1. Set up the balance beams in a large open area.
2. Ask the children to pretend that the beams are bridges across
imaginary water.
3. Have the children walk one by one across the bridges by placing
one foot in front of the other.
4. Encourage hesitant children gently. Help them recognize their
feelings of fear as well as their abilities to conquer it.
PURPOSE: to help children become aware of fear and courage.
AGE: 4+
SETTING: Bulletin board or wall.
MATERIALS: a large piece of plain paper and magazine pictures
that illustrate fear and courage.
ACTIVITY:
1. Draw a front page of a newspaper on the plain paper. Title
it "The Classroom Daily" - Fear and Courage Issue.
2. Talk with children about fear and courage. Use their ideas
to write newspaper articles. Highlight the children's names by
their comments.
3. Illustrate some of the comments with the magazine pictures.
4. Display it on the wall or bulletin board where parents can
see it.
PURPOSE: to provide children with a creative outlet for expressing
fears related to nightmares.
AGE: 4+
SETTING: Art Center. Have a few children participate at a time.
MATERIALS: large grocery sacks stuffed with wadded newspapers
and taped shut, yarn, tempera paint, brushes, smocks, glue, construction
paper, and scissors.
ACTIVITY:
1. After reading *There's a Nightmare in My Closet*, have the
children make their own nightmares.
2. Spread the art supplies out on the table. Use the stuffed grocery
sacks as the head and body. Suggestion: Older children could write
or dictate stories about their individual nightmares.
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