Marilyn Lopes
Extension Specialist, Family Life Education
Cape Cod Extension
University of Massachusetts
Copyright/Access Information
You have one of the world's most important jobs. You help children
feel
strong, able, and loveable. Your positive, caring attitude is
catching. As
caregivers, your job is to encourage children to think about how
people are
alike and different, to ask all kinds of questions, and to find
answers
they can understand. Your words and attitude tell children that
differences
are wonderful.
From birth, children begin to learn to love themselves and others.
Infants
and toddlers start to see differences between people. They notice
skin
colors, hair colors and textures, eye shapes, and other features
of race
and ethnic background. Toddlers may reach out to feel each other's
hair.
Older 2-year-olds may stare or say things such as "What's
that?"
Three-year olds figure out how to recognize boys and girls. Preschoolers
are curious, too. Will skin color wash off? Eye shape and color
is of great
interest. Unfamiliar languages puzzle them. Even elementary-age
children
seem "old." Preschoolers also notice that people have
different physical
and mental abilities. Children often make comments that embarrass
us.
By age 4, children are very much tuned in to our attitudes. They
sense how
we feel about them and other people. Many children grow up feeling
good
about who they are. "Here, let me do it," they volunteer.
Most children
feel comfortable being around other people, too. They are eager
to have fun
together. "Let's play firefighter!"
Many other young children already have negative ideas about themselves.
"I
can't," they say. Or you overhear them mutter, "I never
do anything right."
They may not know how to get along well with other children. Such
children
may seem quiet and shy, or they may be bullies.
Preschoolers may even believe some common biases and stereotypes
about
other people. They hear put-downs on TV. They see holiday decorations
that
poke fun. They are indeed aware of what is happening around them
and
between people.
How do you help children love themselves and others? First, look
at your
own attitudes, values, and behaviors. Then, include activities
to help
children appreciate each other's differences, develop a sense
of fairness,
and learn to stand up for themselves and others.
Mr. Rogers said, We are all different in many ways, but sometimes
children
are afraid to be different because they want to be like the people
they
love. Some children may even come to feel there's something wrong
with
being different. That's why grown-ups need to help children learn
that
being different is part of what makes them special to the people
who love
them.
When you help children notice and accept, in fact, celebrate differences,
you pave the way to prevent prejudice and promote compassion,
tolerance,
and understanding.