Lesia Oesterreich, M.S.
Family Life Extension Specialist
Human Development and Family Studies
Iowa State University
Copyright/Access Information
Learning to use the toilet is a big event in a young child's life.
Most children are eager to learn how to use the "potty"
and are proud of their achievement.
Toilet training is easiest when children are physically and emotionally
ready, which happens between age 2 and 3 years. Girls usually
gain physical control over their bowel and bladder muscles before
boys do. On the average, most girls are potty-trained by age 2-1/2
and most boys
about age 3. Don't be alarmed if a child doesn't follow this pattern
closely; individual children mature physically at different rates.
The secret to success is patience and timing. Emotional readiness
also is important. Many bright, normal, healthy, 3-year-olds may
not be interested in learning to use the toilet. Learning is a
full-time job for most toddlers, and learning to use the toilet
may not be as important as learning to climb, jump, run, and talk.
A toddler who resists toilet training now may be ready in 3 to
6 months - often learning almost overnight.
Check the following about the child:
If you placed a check mark beside most of the items, you may want to introduce toilet training. If you left most of the items unchecked, be patient a while longer. Rushing a child through the toilet training process will result in tears and frustration. Starting too soon may actually delay the process. Toilet training will be easier when the child is ready.
Relax! A calm, easygoing approach to toilet training works best. Learning to use the toilet takes time, and each child is different. You will find that one child learns to use the toilet at age 2 and another learns at age 3-1/2. This is normal.
Show children what they are to do in the bathroom. Toddlers imitate adults or older children. Next time a toddler follows you into the bathroom, talk about what you do when you use the toilet.
Teach toddlers the words their families use for body parts, urine, and bowel movements. Make sure it's a word parents feel comfortable with - others are sure to hear it. There is nothing quite like a toddler loudly announcing in the grocery store check-out lane, "Go poo-poo!"
Help children recognize when they are urinating or having a bowel movement. Most children will grunt, squat, turn red in the face, or simply stop playing for a moment. Children must be aware that they are urinating or having a bowel movement before they can do anything about it.
Borrow or purchase a potty chair or a potty attachment for the toilet. If you purchase a potty attachment, be sure to get one with a footrest. This will allow a child to sit more comfortable and make it easier to push during the bowel movement. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that parents and caregivers avoid urine deflectors because they can cut a child who is climbing on or off a potty chair. You may want to let the child get used to the idea by sitting on the potty while fully clothed.
Begin reading potty books to the child. Many good books have been written about learning to use the potty and may be found at your local library or bookstore. Reading a book together helps children understand the process and understand that other children also learn to use the potty. See book suggestions at the end of this chapter.
Encourage parents to purchase training pants and easy-to-remove clothing. Just getting to the potty on time is a major task for most children. You can help make the job easier by encouraging parents to dress children in easy-to-remove clothing. Ask them to avoid buttons, zippers, and belts. Some parents prefer to use diapers at first and switch to training diapers or pants when their child is urinating in the potty several times a day.
When a child tells you that he or she needs to use the potty, help with clothing and sit the child on the potty for a few minutes. Stay with the child. You might keep some books close by. Reading a book together helps pass the time and takes the pressure off for an immediate result.
After 4 to 5 minutes, help the child off the potty. Give hugs and praise for a successful effort. Comment simply that the child can try again later if the effort wasn't successful. Don't be surprised if the child has a bowel movement or urinates right after being taken off the toilet. This is not unusual. Accidents and near misses generally are not an act of defiance or stubbornness. It simply takes time to learn this new skill. If accidents seem to be frequent, it may be best of try toilet training a few months later.
Wipe the child carefully. Wipe girls from front to back to prevent infection. Teach children to always wash hands with soap and water after using the potty. Set a good example by washing your own hands.
Children often show much curiosity about bowel movements. If you find a child trying to remove fecal material from the toilet, or "finger painting" with it on the bathroom floor, try to remain calm. Explain that it's not OK to play with feces or urine; help the child clean up the mess and wash your hands and the child's with soap and water. It is generally a good idea to supervise clean-up and flushing for some time during the toilet training process.
Children often have one of two reactions to flushing. Either
they are fascinated by it (and will do it repeatedly) or they
are afraid of it. Children who enjoy flushing will delight in
emptying the potty chair into the toilet, waving bye-bye, and
watching everything "flush away."Children who are fearful
prefer that caregivers and parents take charge of this process.
Before flushing the toilet, make sure the child is off the potty.
Many children not only fear the noise and swirling water, but
also think they may be flushed down, too. Reassure children that
they are safe and that only body wastes and toilet paper will
be flushed away.
*No More Diapers*, J.G. Brooks - A popular book with toddlers.
Toilet training is illustrated through two stories, one about
Johnny and another about Susie. Simple text is used with black,
white, and orange drawings.
*Your New Potty*, Joanna Cole - This book tells the story of two
children, Ben and Steffie, who are learning to use their new potties.
Illustrated by colorful photographs. Uses adult terms for elimination.
*Once Upon a Potty*, Alona Frankel - Simple text with cartoon-like
illustrations. Available in both a boy's and girl's version. Comes
complete with an anatomically correct doll and toy potty.
*All By Myself*, Anna Grossnickle Hines - One of the few books
that talks about nighttime dryness. Josie, like most children,
has successfully mastered daytime control, but at night still
needs help from her mother to get to the bathroom. In time she
learns how to manage by herself.
*Going to the Potty*, Fred Rogers - Part of the Mister Rogers
Neighborhood First Experience series, this colorful book discusses
toilet training. Photographs show children of all sizes, ages,
and ethnic groups.
*KoKo Bear's New Potty*, Vicki Lansky - A "read together"
book with cartoon bear illustrations. A useful companion to Vicki
Lansky's Practical Parenting: Toilet Training.
*Parents Book of Toilet Teaching*, Joanna Cole
*Practical Parenting: Toilet Training*, Vicki Lansky
*Toilet Learning*, Alison Mack
FORMAT AVAILABLE:: Print - 296 pages
DOCUMENT REVIEW::
Level 2 - Iowa State University Extension
DOCUMENT SIZE:: 15K or 5 pages
ENTRY DATE:: March 1995
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