WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT VIOLENCE?

Marilyn Lopes
Extension Specialist, Family Life Education
Cape Cod Cooperative Extension
University of Massachusetts

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The United States is now the most violent country in the industrialized world, leading the world in homicides, rapes, and assaults. Gun-related violence takes the life of an American child every 3 hours and the lives of 25 children every 3 days. That is the equivalent of one classroom of children! Before finishing elementary school, the average American child watches 8,000 murders and 100,000 acts of violence on television. By the age of 18, the average child will have seen 26,000 killings on television! Are these the statistics we want our nation to be known for? How did this happen? And what can we do about it?

There is no easy answer to how our country became the most violent. Some contributing factors are poverty, parents unprepared to be parents, a media that promotes violence as ordinary, heavy metal rap music, and a pervasive message of "getting" rather than "giving." Another significant factor is that children are watching too much television instead of reading, playing sports, talking, learning about their world, or playing creatively. It is not one person's fault, nor is it one person's job to "fix" it. All of us must take responsibility and work together to raise responsible, caring, trustworthy, respectful, and competent children.

How can we do that? Some ideas include:

• Set limits for acceptable behavior, and enforce them non-violently.
  
• Be a non-violent role model. Use words, not hands, when angry.
  
• Learn relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, and teach them to the children.
  
• Limit television and videotape viewing.
  
• Watch shows with children, and talk about the action and the characters in them.
  
• Get involved! If you see something on television you don't like, contact the station.
  
• Be aware of your environment - photographs in newspapers and magazines make an impression, even on non-readers.

Try this activity: Discuss with the children the positive things we can do when we get angry - tear a piece of paper, pound clay or a pillow, squeeze a ball, finger paint, dance, stretch, count, relax by deep-breathing and
neck-rolls, talk with someone, or draw a picture of what you are upset about and then tear it up and throw it away. Next, have each child trace his or her hand on a piece of paper. Let them choose an activity from the
list you generated in your discussion and help them write it on the hand. Tape the hands to a board, and refer to them when you notice the children getting upset. Eventually, they should be able to make the connection without your help.