Carol Hans, R.D.
Extension Nutritionist
Iowa State University Extension
Iowa State University
Copyright/Access Information
Weight is one of the many personal characteristics that distinguish
children from each other. It has implications for both the physical
and mental health of the child. Unfortunately, it also has the
potential for causing many parent-child disagreements about what
is or is not eaten and in what amounts.
It's natural for parents to want their children to be as perfect as possible. When it comes to weight, however, "perfect" must be broadly and individually defined - a task that's often hard in our thin-conscious society. Children grow at different rates and may have different body structures from their siblings and playmates. Standardized growth charts plot height and weight of boys and girls at different ages and can be used in consultation with a pediatrician in determining a child's recommended weight range.
Beyond reassuring the child of parental love regardless of
the child's weight, the appropriate parental action depends on
whether only the child or the whole family has a weight problem.
If the whole family needs to change some eating and exercising
habits, then the parent and child need to
work together to initiate and plan those changes for everyone's
benefit.
For example, many social traditions are related to food and eating,
such as giving food as a reward for completing a task, as a sympathetic
gesture to ease hurt feelings, or as a cure for boredom. These
habits may lead the child to expect food in these situations,
regardless of any feelings of hunger. By helping the child learn
that such behavior is occasionally - but not always - permissible,
the child may avoid forming some of the dependent habits that
can cause later weight problems.
If the child is the only family member to have a weight problem,
then other factors should be considered, for example, possible
medical problems or emotional stresses than might influence a
child's eating behavior.
A child who is too thin needs the same emotional support as
one who is too heavy. Discussing the size of the other family
members and visiting with a pediatrician can help put the child's
size into perspective and provide a basis for reminding children
that individuals grow at different rates. Growing slowly is not
bad.
However, whenever a child shows a sudden weight drop, other medical
or emotional problems can be suspected. Professional help from
a pediatrician, dietitian, or child psychologist may be necessary.
Parents and their care-giving substitutes have three responsibilities
in feeding children.
1. Parents need to offer the child a variety of nutritious foods
at regular intervals. Planned meals and snacks give the child
regular sources of energy, help the child to develop sensible
eating patterns, and encourage the child to learn correct food
behavior in social situations. Studies of overweight children
indicate that those children who eat regular meals control their
weight more successfully.
2. Parents can help the child to learn to identify and pay attention
to feelings of hunger and fullness. This starts with learning
to distinguish a baby's "I am hungry" cry from other
cries. It means not forcing a toddler to eat one more bite. It
means sometimes allowing second or third helpings on some meal
items.
3. Parents can demonstrate a healthy lifestyle. Children learn
by example. They are likely to want to do what parents do, whether
that's eating chips and watching television or bicycling.
Since a parent's primary role is to give support, any action
that denies support should be avoided. For example, when a child
is upset by playmates' teasing, a parent who responds with, "when
you get thinner they won't tease you anymore," only reinforces
the child's suspicion that there is indeed
something wrong with him or her. A more positive response is for
the parent to listen to the child express his or her feelings
about that teasing and then perhaps ask the child if other children
are getting teased and for what reason. This can lead to a discussion
of "What do you think you can do about this situation?"
Another way parents deny support is by treating the overweight
child differently from the rest of the family; for instance by
forcing the child to eat meals, desserts, or snacks that are different
from what is served to the rest of the family.
Likewise, putting children on a weight reduction diet is a form
of punishment that asks them to ignore feelings of hunger and
may lead them to believe there is truly something wrong with themselves
for wanting to eat more than their parents want to give them.
Prevention is the very best cure. Ideally, parents help their
children learn to recognize their own feelings of hunger and choose
appropriate nutritious foods to satisfy that hunger. They also
can help the child learn to see food as only one of many possible
ways to celebrate a happy event, to ease disappointment, or to
erase boredom.
Here are seven specific actions parents can take to help their
children learn good eating habits.
1. Be enthusiastic about eating a variety of foods. Help
children learn what foods are in the different food groups and
why it's important to eat some of each group daily.
2. Introduce new foods gradually. Offer the child a small
portion but do not force the child to eat it. Tasting will come
more readily as the food becomes more familiar.
3. Plan and provide regular meals and snacks for the family.
Parents set a good example by practicing healthy eating habits
themselves. Mealtime should involve pleasant conversation, not
discussion of problems.
4. Serve realistic portions. The appropriate serving size
depends on the child's age and size. One possible guideline is
to offer 1 tablespoon of meat, fruit, and vegetable per year of
age up to age 5. Physical activity and growth spurts also influence
appetite. Plan meals to include some lower calorie food items
than can be offered for second helpings.
5. Buy fewer high-calorie, low-nutrient foods. Encourage
children to think of such foods as occasional treats, not regular
fare. Involve children in planning, shopping, and label-reading.
6. Avoid making nagging comments about a child's weight.
Children who are above or below their "right" weight
need emotional support.
7. Encourage family involvement in regular physical activity.
Set an example by walking or biking instead of driving, using
stairs instead of the elevator, planning week-end hikes or swimming
outings, or simply walking around the block after dinner.
Check the local library for these books.
*Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense*, Ellyn Satter.
Bull
Publishing Co. 1983. (For infants and toddlers.)
*How to Get Your Kid to Eat...But Not Too Much*. Ellyn Satter.
Bull
Publishing Co. 1987. (For pre-schoolers and older.)
*The Stop-Light Diet for Children*. Leonard H. Epstein and Sally
Squires.
Little, Brown, and Co. 1988. (This book offers an eating plan
based on
red-light, green-light, and yellow-light foods; it is not a weight
loss
diet plan.)
These publications are available from county extension offices:
*Altering Recipes*, NCR 473
*Cholesterol Guidelines for Children*, NCR 431
*Eating Better When Eating Out Using the Dietary Guidelines*,
H&G 232-11
*How to Eat Less Fat*, NCR-336
*Making Bag Lunches, Snacks, and Desserts Using the Dietary Guidelines*,
H&G-232-9
*Preparing Foods and Planning Menus Using the Dietary Guidelines*,
H&G-232-8
*Shopping for Food and Making Meals in Minutes Using the Dietary
Guidelines*, H&G-232-10