Keep Your Family Calm During the Holidays
During the holiday-preparation season, many parents seem more
strained, because they are suffering from overload. No doubt this
pressure comes from wanting to give their families the best holiday
ever. Isn't it ironic that what families most need is relaxation
to enjoy the festivities together.
If tension is mounting at your house, you still can change the
pattern to ease the pressure. Here are some helpful tips:
- Slow down and reconnect. Give your kids 10 minutes of your
uninterrupted attention. When you get together at the end of
the day, put everything on hold. Sit down with them and just
listen to whatever they have to say. If you promised to look
at a child's assignment, do it now. When kids know you're really
with them and not thinking of other things, they'll enjoy a measure
of comfort and satisfaction.
- Give kids a role. Think how you can include the children
in the ongoing holiday preparations. If they feel they're really
participating, they won't need to act up or whine for your attention.
Perhaps they can help with gift-wrapping, decorating, baking,
or addressing cards. You are training your children in a new
skill that will contribute to their sense of competence. You'll
also see your kids grow a foot in pride as they admire their
accomplishments!
- Invite them to think of special gifts for the people on your
list. Even little ones can be thoughtful and right on-target
with some of their suggestions.
- Get them into the kitchen. Find a way to include your kids
in cooking, especially when you take food to a bake sale or have
guests coming. Preparing the food helps children feel that they
can give to others along with you. They will probably be even
more hospitable toward arriving guests.
- Observe the rule of two. Try to limit your social obligations
to a maximum of two a week that take you away from the kids.
They may tolerate your absence for two nights, but change it
to three, and they may fall apart.
- Savor the upcoming traditions. Observe your family rituals,
even if it means missing the neighbors' caroling party or a dinner
with out-of-town friends. Take the time you need to enjoy the
meaningful rites your kids look forward to all year.
12/9/96 cmo
Virginia Molgaard
Family Living Specialist
Iowa State University Extension
Ames, IA 50011