GOOD TIMES WITH SCHOOL-AGE CHILDREN
Human Development and Family Studies
Colorado State University Cooperative Extension
Authors
Copyright/Access Information
In many families today, mothers and fathers are employed outside of their homes. Other families are headed by single parents who must work outside the home. Many parents need someone to care for their children during the hours they are not home. That someone might be you!
Taking care of children is an important job. As you care for children, you learn that early school-age children are different from one another. For example, when you know about 6-, 7-, and 8-year-olds, you understand that 6-year-olds can be expected to be BUSY. They jiggle, shove, push, and roughhouse. Their play sometimes goes too far because they do not know when to stop. Seven-year-olds, though, can be expected to be quieter. They spend time thinking about and sorting through their experiences from school. Because of this, they may at times seem serious. Early school-age children who are around the age of 8, are active again. Eight-year-olds explore everything and seek out new experiences. They love to be friends, to form clubs, and to help with adult-like jobs such as sorting laundry or mowing the lawn. Most of them are able to hold their own in conversations with adults.
Caregivers who do not understand developmental ages and stages might expect a 5-year-old to do a job that would be hard for an 8-year-old to complete. They also might wonder if quiet 7-year-olds are ill or sad and
why social 8-year-olds spend so much time with their friends. It is important for caregivers to understand how children change as they get older. Each child is different and there are no set rules as to how they should behave at a certain age. However, there are certain guidelines for growth and development. Knowledge of these guidelines can help you be the kind of person that parents trust to care for their children.
Six-, 7-, and 8-year-olds are called early school-age children. This is because the first years of school are the major experiences through which children learn about their ever widening worlds. During the first years of school, children change from home-based people with close ties to their parents to more independent people with added ties to school, friends, and other adults. In school, children develop new skills, meet new people, and begin to understand more about themselves. Their interests move beyond their families into games, clubs, lessons, and friendships.
The early childhood years are characterized by peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, riddles, cloud-watching, eager adventures, and secrets with "best friends." By 8, boys usually prefer to play with boys, and girls usually prefer to play with girls. Most groups of children spend their time together in a wide variety of activities. Boys, as well as girls, enjoy cooking with adults, playing house or painting, drawing, and moving to music. Both girls and boys may take part in sports activities or spend all afternoon in the backyard pretending to be famous explorers.
Both Willy and Nicholas are normal children. The fact that Willy is more talkative and less interested in school assignments than Nicholas is normal. No two early school-age children are alike. Some grow faster than others. Some are more sensitive, more moody, or more friendly than others. These variations in development are called individual differences. This section will help you recognize individual differences and learn how early school-age children grow and develop. Here are more facts about early school-age children.
Early school-age children grow and develop in many ways. They become more aware of what they can do physically with their bodies and with their muscles. They grow aware of how they feel about themselves. They develop more adult-like thinking skills, learn to read, write, add, and subtract. Six-, 7-, and 8-year-olds also learn to make friends and often spend as much time with them as with their families.
Early school-age children develop in four ways:
We think of this development as a pie with four slices. Early school-age children need all four slices to grow and develop fully. Six-, 7-, and 8-year-olds grow as whole human beings. It is a mistake to focus on only one part of their development. All four slices of the chart should be kept in mind when you are caring for early school-age children. As their muscles grow stronger, so do their friendships. As their thinking skills develop, so do their emotions.
The chart in this section called Growth and Development shows how average early school-age children grow and develop during the ages of 6, 7, and 8. Another chart called Nine Things to Learn While You're 6, 7, and 8 also is included. Remember these are only guides. Each child is different and does different things at different times. Even Willy and Nicholas grow and develop in different ways. Nicholas could ride a bike long before Willy, but Willy could climb trees faster. Nicholas liked to play with one best friend while Willy enjoyed playing with groups of children. By 8, Nicholas refused to play with Willy anymore, preferring to spend his time with "boys only." Willy could understand how Nicholas felt, but sometimes missed him when her girlfriends were not around. School became more interesting to both Nicholas and Willy when they were 7, but Willy grew restless in school again at 8.
Early school-age children are busy people. They are learning many new skills, but they still need guidance from caregivers. Sometimes children get so involved with friends, they forget about school assignments. Sometimes they are impatient when they want attention and need to be reminded that other people are busy, too.
If you are taking care of early school-age children, you need to be aware of their needs and their ages and stages. Take this quiz to find out how much you have learned about 6-, 7-, and 8-year-olds.
TRUE OR FALSE - "I'd like to help and will always do the jobs you ask me to do."
The answer is FALSE. Early school-age children do like to help, but there are several reasons why they won't always do what you want them to do. For example, 6-year-olds can be bossy and advice-giving "know-it-alls." They like jobs to go their way and can throw tantrums or stubbornly refuse to participate when they are disappointed. Six-year-olds also may be clumsy or be dawdlers. If they are in the middle of a project that they want to do, it may take a very long time before they finally get around to doing the job you want them to do. On the other hand, they usually want their needs met right away and get upset when caregivers don't drop everything in order to give them attention. Six-year-olds also can be extremely sensitive and ashamed of their mistakes and fears. They often are careful to hide their tears and may shy away from people who they think might criticize them.
Seven-year-olds also are uncomfortable with criticism and failure. Many of them will leave a scene rather than put themselves in a position where they may not do a job "right." They are eager to take on duties and be part of the family, but they will demand guidance as to how the duty should be completed. Caregivers need to be prepared to answer many questions like "What do we do now?" and "How do I do this part?" when working with 7-year-olds. Many will want you to show them how you want things done and will want you to stay close at hand while they work so you can praise them for each little part they complete.
Eight-year-olds are bored with jobs they have already learned to do well and will be interested in helping only if the jobs are new and challenging to them. They usually are most interested in jobs they have seen adults doing. Since 8-year-olds dislike being alone and like to be active, they often will help with jobs so they can enjoy another's companionship. Eight-year-olds wonder how people feel about them and ask questions as they work like, "Do you think I'm a good helper?" or "Do you like me better when I help you make lunch or when I clean up my room?"
1. Physical skills like throwing, catching, kicking, pedaling, balancing, climbing, and more...
2. Self-care skills like grooming, cleaning, learning to like yourself, and more...
3. Sex role skills that teach how to be a boy and how to be a girl...
4. Friendship skills that help you learn to get along with others...
5. Basic skills like reading, writing, speaking, adding, subtracting, and more...
6. Thinking skills that help you understand ideas necessary for everyday living like time, space, hot, fast, after, before, and more...
7. Moral controls that help you learn the difference between right and wrong, develop a respect for rules, and discover your own values...
8. Decision-making skills that help you become a person able to make plans and act independently of your parents and caregivers...
9. Social skills like respect for self and others, positive attitudes, appropriate emotional expressions, and more...
Caregivers can help early school-age children confidently learn new skills.
Understand ages and stages.
A psychologist named Erik Erikson studied human development. He believed people learn certain lessons and gain certain skills according to their age and stage of growth. He divided the average lifetime into eight stages and suggested eight major lessons to go with each of these stages. The lesson he identified for middle childhood (ages 6 to 12) was industry versus inferiority. What did he mean by this?
He believed that children of these ages are learning about the value of work and about the confidence they gain when they know they've done a job well (industry). He also believed that children who don't feel good about their accomplishments or who never learn to finish projects or jobs won't feel good about themselves (inferiority). He stated that children's main needs during these years are for achievement, acceptance by friends and important adults, and a sense of self-esteem.
Six-, 7-, and 8-year-olds, he said, are at the beginning of this stage and are excited about doing, acting, exploring, daring, experimenting, inventing, building, and completing their projects. Duties at home, school assignments, scout badges, and 4-H projects provide children with opportunities to commit to tasks. Successful completion of these tasks help them feel good about themselves.
If the children you care for are assigned duties in their homes, it's important that you encourage them to complete those duties. When children were 4 or 5, the goal for caregivers and parents was to encourage children to begin jobs and projects. The goal for caregivers and parents of 6-, 7-, and 8-year-olds, though, is to encourage them to complete jobs and projects.
Allow children to work at their own pace.
Early school-age children often do not finish puzzles, art creations, homework, and games as quickly as older people would like them to. If allowed the time and space to finish projects at their own pace, children will feel proud of their accomplishments and eager to work on similar projects without the fear of criticism.
Children measure themselves against other children. For example, they will watch their friends play softball or listen to them answer questions in school and compare their performances with their own. If children feel they perform as well or better than their friends, their self-esteem rises. Caregivers should not measure, compare or judge children's skills. Children do enough of that themselves! It is your job as a caregiver to simply encourage them to always do their best.
Be patient, understanding, and encouraging.
Let children make mistakes.
The most important way caregivers can help is to encourage children to try new things and then to praise them for trying. It is important that children feel that duties, jobs, and projects do not have to be perfect in order to be "right."
TRUE OR FALSE - "I'm a big girl now, and I think just like an adult."
The answer is FALSE. A child psychologist named Jean Piaget helped us understand how children think. He believed that 6- and 7-year-olds learn by watching and imitating older people and then trying their ideas out to see the results. For example, they watch adults driving cars with little effort and may believe they could drive cars, too. They do not understand all of the steps that must be put together in order to drive cars safely. They may even believe that cars can think, and that if cars are told where to go, they will take them there. If, however, young children ever try to drive a real car the results are disastrous.
Six- and 7-year-olds do not think like adults. They believe the moon follows them as they walk because when they look up, it is always there. They also believe that dolls can talk and that a long, skinny piece of clay weighs less than the same piece of clay rolled up into a ball.
At 8, however, children move into a more adult-like way of thinking, but they are still far from being able to reason like grown-ups. Eight-year-olds can understand that a ball of clay weighs the same no matter what shape it is and they can put objects in order according to size, shape, number, and value. They are still confused by ideas that do not make sense to them, though. For example, if a caregiver asked 8-year-olds to find the answer to a math problem like "If a three-headed fish flew five miles one day and six miles the next, how far would it have flown," they would become more concerned over the fact there are no three-headed fish or that fish do not fly than over the answer to the problem.
Caregivers can help 6-, 7-, and 8-year-olds develop their thinking skills.
TRUE OR FALSE - "Sometimes I get mad at my best friend Ronny and I call him names like 'stupid'."
The answer is TRUE. Early school-age children make many friends, but they also change friends often. Lots of tattling and putting-down of other children goes on because being friends with another child seems more exciting when a third child is "kept out." This behavior often seems mean to adults and older caregivers, yet it is a way for young children to learn about relationships. If Nicholas says, "Ronny's dumb" and others agree with him, his confidence increases. If, however, his friends disagree and defend Ronny, Nicholas may quickly change his mind so that he will be included in the group.
Six-, 7-, and 8-year-olds are learning to create a world of their own away from adults. They do this by forming secret clubs, writing secret codes, and playing games that are taught to them by other children like hopscotch and marbles. During these ages, boys begin to play more with boys and girls with girls. Belonging to a group often becomes so important that children who are different (disabled, gifted, foreign, and even rich or poor) are ignored, kept out, or called names.
Along with making friends, children develop needs for privacy and independence. It is important for them to have doors and drawers they can lock and to have secret boxes and containers in which to keep their treasures. Seven-year-olds, especially, are sensitive about their bodies and do not like to be touched or seen without clothes.
Caregivers can help early school-age children grow socially.
Respect their privacy and allow them to do as many things as possible on their own.
Read *Good Times with Guidance and Discipline* to learn more about early school-age children.
TRUE OR FALSE - "Sometimes I feel all mixed-up inside. I worry a lot and feel afraid to try new things."
The answer is TRUE. Researchers who study human beings tell us that the early school-age years are exciting and important times for children. This is because 6-, 7-, and 8-year-olds have one new experience after another. Most of these new experiences take place in one of the three major outward "pushes" that happen during this time. These three "pushes" were identified by a psychologist named Robert Havighurst and are:
1. the move away from the home and into the world of school and friends;
2. the move into physical and social games, sports, duties, work; and
3. the move into more adult-like ways of thinking.
This can be a scary time for children. Everyday they find themselves in situations they've never been in before. Six-, 7-, and 8-year-olds begin to worry about things they have never worried about before. For example, if a friend's parents divorce, Willy worries that hers might divorce too. If a cousin's puppy dies, Nicholas becomes afraid that his cat may get hit by a car. Children are growing emotionally during this time. They have felt emotions like fear, anger, and joy before, but now they are beginning to learn how to express those emotions. They are learning to tell friends when they are mad at them and to tell caregivers how much they like them. It can be a joyful time for young children as long as they have caregivers who will listen and tell them that all of their feelings are okay.
Caregivers can help early school-age children deal with their emotions.
Remember, this section is only a guide. It tells you a little bit about early school-age children, but you will probably have many questions about 6-, 7-, and 8-year-olds that are not answered here. You can ask questions of the parents you know, read library books and magazines about young children.
You will probably find that there are several answers to each of your questions. That's okay. All parents have their own way of caring for their children. They may even care for each of their children differently. This section offers a place to begin to learn about early school-age children.
Here are some activities that will help you learn about yourself and about early school-age children. Choose the ones that seem to fit the children you are caring for now.
1. Make an "idea box" that you can use when you play with early school-age children outdoors. Six-, 7-, and 8-year-olds spend most of their days inside, so they have a lot of "stored-up" energy to release after school. This energy can be put to good use when groups of children play games, care for pet animals, or take part in sports. When children run out of ideas on their own, you can teach them how to set up an obstacle course, make a tent over the picnic table, make a bird feeder from an empty milk carton, or a puppet from an old sock.
2. Read *Good Times with Health and Safety* and *Good Times Being Creative* for more information on early school-age children.
3. Make a "prop box" or "care kit" to take with you when you care for children. These should include materials you need for dramatic play (props to make a grocery store, post office, doctor's office, etc.), art activities, music and dance, storytime, or games. Be sure the items you include are safe for and interesting to 6-, 7-, and 8-year-olds.
4. Test children's thinking skills using these experiments:
- With the child watching you, fill a small measuring cup with water, and pour into a tall, thin glass. Then fill the same measuring cup again with the same amount of water and pour the water into a larger, wider glass. The water level will be much higher in the tall, thin glass, although both will contain identical amounts of water. Ask the child which glass has the most water in it. Six- and early 7-year-olds will probably say that the tall, thin glass has more water in it. Late 7- and 8-year-olds will probably know that the glasses contain the same amount of water.
- Take two groups of six pennies each and place one group very tightly together in a straight line. Spread the other group of six pennies out over an area the size of a dinner plate. Ask the child which group contains the most money. Younger children will think the group that is spread out has more money, while older children will understand that both groups contain the same amount.
- Start with two balls of clay, each the size of a golf ball. While the child watches, take one of the balls and roll it into a snake or cigar shape. Ask the child which one contains the most clay. The older children will know that the amounts are still the same, but younger
children will think that the snake shape contains more clay because it covers more area.
5. Spread an old sheet on the floor or in the driveway, give each child a magic marker, and work together to draw a town or city on the sheet. You may want to draw the basic outline of the streets, city blocks, downtown, or countryside before you give it to the children. They can add houses, special buildings, railroad tracks, and drawings of animals and people. Once the city is completed, toy cars can be driven on the streets, small dolls can live in the houses, and plastic cows can graze in the fields.
6. Take a nature walk. Be sure to obtain permission from the children's parents if you are going anywhere besides the backyard. While you are on the walk, ask the children what they see, smell, and hear. Sometimes we get so focused on where we are going that we forget to notice the wonderful sights and smells around us. Be careful not to damage any living things while you are on your walk. It is also a good idea not to pick flowers or bring home rocks. Leave them for the next walkers to enjoy.
Information about early school-age children is harder to find than information about babies or teens. Sometimes you can learn as much from books that tell stories as from books that teach facts. Ask your librarian to help you find books written about young children. Many children's magazines also have stories and information about early school-age children. Doctors who specialize in caring for young children and your local Cooperative Extension office are two sources of information.
Order these through your local Cooperative Extension office.
Cornell University - *The Middle Years: Six - Eleven*, HDFS-6, $.30
- *Ages and Stages of the Middle-Years Child - Part 1: 6- to 8-Year-
Olds*, HDFS-14, $.30
- *Let's Talk about Child Care*, HDFS-19, $.35
- *Fun to Grow On*, NE-216, $1.75
- *Understanding Children through Play*, NE-218, $1.50
Order from:
Cornell Distribution Center - DW
7 Research Park
Ithaca, NY 14850
(Make checks payable to Cornell University)
The University of Arizona - Parentime, A Self-Study Course about Understanding 6- to 12-Year-Olds. A 4-week course with an enrollment fee of $2.50. Contact: Cooperative Extension Service, University of Arizona, 4341 E. Broadway, Phoenix, AZ 85040
Iowa State University - *Growing into Middle Childhood - 5- to 8-Year-Olds*, Pm-1174a. Order from: Publications Distribution Printing and Publications Bldg. Iowa State University Ames, Iowa 50011
*Adventures with Children in Early School Years*, Barnow and Swan, 1986.
*Ideas that Work with Young Children*, Baker, 1972.
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| Physical | Are very active - like to roughhouse. May be clumsy. May dawdle. Can throw and catch balls. Can balance on one leg. Like to make things - color, paint, cook. |
| Intellectual | Don't understand that people think and feel differently from one another. Believe other people know what they know and feel what they feel. Can follow simple rules and directions. Understand the meanings of sharing and taking turns. Show interest in books, records, and musical instruments. |
| Emotional | Are self-centered, can be bossy, stubborn, fearful, and impatient. Feel hurt when they are called names. Are ashamed of their mistakes, fears, and tears. Are very possessive of their belongings. |
| Social | Are outgoing. Can be bossy. Often pair up with a "best friend" and leave out other children. More ready to give out than to receive criticism. Don't like to lose. Begin to prefer same-sex friends. Like group activities. |
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| Physical | Are still active, but quieter than at six. Develop body awareness - very sensitive about being touched or seen naked. Like to build and create things. Like to play board games like Monopoly. |
| Intellectual | Begin to sort through and think about information learned at school. Gain a better understanding of language - vocabulary grows to over 2500 words. Are very interested in collecting things. Questions are fewer, but more meaningful. Like thoughtful art projects like cutting and pasting. |
| Emotional | Are becoming aware of themselves and others - realizing people think and feel differently. Worry about being liked and accepted by others. Can be serious and moody. Will avoid criticism. Enjoy talking more than cuddling with parents and caregivers. Less stubborn than at six. |
| Social | Enjoy playing alone as well as with friends. Can be tattletales. Need approval of friends and adults. Want to do everything "right" - will ask for lots of directions. |
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| Physical | Are very active - seek out new experiences and try new ideas. Like to help with adult jobs. Can work on projects alone, but need direction. Make up new games and rules for games. Like table games such as cards and checkers. |
| Intellectual | Begin to understand that people think and feel differently from one another. Are curious about nature, people, sex, other countries. Like to have conversations with adults. Like to try to solve problems and puzzles. |
| Emotional | Understand they do some things better than others. Judgmental and critical of self and others. Self-confident. Often more polite away from home. Can be dramatic with emotions. Like to pretend they are other people (characters from books, movies, famous people). |
| Social | Are very social - do not like to play alone. Prefer to play only with same-sex friends. Friendships are closer and very important. Talk constantly and like to gossip and argue. Form secret clubs, make up codes and passwords to build a world away from adults. Want adults to like them. |
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